Doctored

interest distanced,
fate halting,
leveled up,
dusty brain.

written, spoken,
words unmentioned.

cryptic, wander,
endless notes
to remind me of me.

dazed speeding,
mirror image,

it’s kind of a
funny story
seek, realistically.

faint, glazed over.
sustain feeling.
ground, footing.
misplaced.

nearly a year in, and my i’m reinventing the feeling of losing myself in the simplest ways. how did i manage this lifestyle? how am i without?

“Detox just to retox.”

I hate this time of year. It’s so miserably, me. Hello, insomnia. I didn’t miss you.

The world seems more in touch today. Thankfully, thankful. Recording stats to further endure my sports ridiculousness.

use your words to talk you through the night. Insomniac letters to be written. Reconnecting old memories with new beginnings, and new melodies to be sung about the former ways of living- like fishing for love in an empty sea of the unforgiven. I’d rather swing you upon by lap and tell you, “You’re all that’s left.”

I’m the greatest false pretense, and you never knew I existed until you called upon my needing knowledge. We’ll fall into the darkest skies silently, alone and never pressured by your tamed melodies. Walk away with my heart, my mind it stays pleasantly trying to maintain what used to be, is me needing knowledge of these unheard prayers from a biblical passage that I can’t read aloud, I scream them out, screaming to Him for forgiveness of my unique sin. I’m falling loudly into your clouded skies, and hoping the rain cleanses away the pain of this sin of mine – loving the same kind; I’ll take Hell any day- with you, I pray.

the master of apathy, you’ve met as this moment in life.

the complexity of your inner workings is making me consider what the meaning of all this really is. i’m drawn to every ounce of your body, and clearly you’re confused by the simplicity of what is in front of you. see you at the finish line, hopefully hand in hand. i’m ready for the i do’s to be said, in the future of this band.

*edit*

so take me at my worst, which is where I’m at, and we’ll make the world jealous with everything we’re not.

1019920

I really need to release this inner feeling of, everything and nothing. Getting more witty inside my brain, and less witty within my living spree.

I am disorder. Never in line with the light, and never falling short of the stars. It’s a complex being, when one is left abroad with their mind at sea. Rather be this way than any other.